Miss USA, Rachel Smith, fell flat on her ass ( or fell on her flat ass –depending on how you look at it ) during the evening gown segment of Showgirls The Musical the Miss Universe pageant, televised live from Mexico City, Mexico, this past Monday night.
I love Smith’s expression of anger after she falls, almost as if cursing gravity for daring to defy her. Personally, I would’ve smilled, done a back-flip and landed in a split –making it seem like I planned it that way all along while at the same time showing those pageant bitches who the real Queen B is.
Smith, an intern at talk show queen Oprah’s Harpo studios, was booed by the Mexican crowd during the interview phase of the show, but shut their asses up by replying to the questions in spanish –quick thinking on her part, when in Rome do as the Mexicans do.
Miss Japan, 20-year-old Riyo Mori, won the pageant for only the second time in her country’s history –lame. Japan had previously won the title in 1959 when Akiko Kojima became the first Miss Universe from Asia.
Miss Sweden, Isabel Lestapier Winqvist, dropped out of the pageant early on because she was over it –well, sort of. She left due to pressure from her country claiming the pageant is degrading to women and weighed down by scandals –basically all the reasons these girls enter the pageant to begin with.
By the way, Oprah needs to stop throwing money away on her soccer mom audience and feed her interns.
No, Joan Rivers is not at it again, although there’s still some flesh left on her skull so don’t rule her out yet –I’m just pointing out the site has a new look.
K2 is one of the best and most feature rich Wordpress theme out there, it’s been my theme of choice since it’s inception, so with Summer on the horizon I decided to download a fresh copy and inject it with some pixelated Botox ( not to mention a nip and tuck here and there ), giving the old girl a new face for the upcoming season.
I will undoubtedly keep tweaking it throughout the next few weeks, but for the most part I’ll be sticking with this look for a bit.
For the person who has everything, come chocolate butt holes. Think how delighted that special someone will be when they open the box and gaze upon rows of chocolate anuses. The prospect of eating ass all day long is sure to guarantee you the top spot on their Christmas card list for years to come. But hurry ( no pun intended ), I’m sure these little puckers will be selling like hotcakes the night before a Jenny Craig meeting. Yum.
Kitty Carlisle Hart, legendary actress, arts advocate and socialite, whose career spanned Broadway, opera, television and film, passed away today at the age of 96.
Christopher Hart said his mother “passed away peacefully” at home. “She had such a wonderful life, and a great long run, it was a blessing.”
An advocate for the arts, Hart served 20 years on the New York State Council on the Arts and in 1991 was awarded the prestigious National Medal of Arts from the first President Bush.
Hart was born September 3rd, 1910 in New Orleans, Louisiana and moved to New York in 1932 after being educated abroad.
She began her acting career on Broadway and her film roles include the classic Marx Brothers movie “A Night at the Opera,” “She Loves Me Not” and “Here Is My Heart,” opposite Bing Crosby, Woody Allen’s “Radio Days” and “Six Degrees of Separation.”
In 1967 she made her operatic debut at the Metropolitan Opera in “Die Fledermaus,” and created the role of Lucretia in the American premiere of Benjamin Britten’s “Rape of Lucretia.”
From 1956 to 1967, she appeared on the classic CBS prime-time game show “To Tell the Truth”. The popular show also had runs, in daytime and in syndicated versions.
Hart’s late husband was Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Moss Hart, who wrote “You Can’t Take It With You” and “The Man Who Came to Dinner” with George S. Kaufman and won a Tony for directing “My Fair Lady” on Broadway.
A 440 pound Nile crocodile at the Shaoshan Zoo in Taiwan bit off a veterinarian’s arm when the vet tried to retrieve a tranquiliser dart from the reptile’s lair. The croc complained he was hungry one hour later.
Source: The Sydney Morning Herald
Hello Scary
In somewhat related news, Hello Kitty Air comes complete with Hello Kitty meals and just about Hello Kitty everything! Pilots are forced to wear bulky Hello Kitty costumes, making Hello Kitty Air the most crash prone airline in history.
Sources: Eva Air, Rojaks
And finally…
Do They Make Manolos In My Size?
If you think tourists on public beaches are annoying now, just wait a few million years. A worker at the Malaysian Fisheries Development Board was given a shark as a dinner gift by a fellow fisherman. It wasn’t until the worker was getting ready to prepare the shark for her family that she noticed it had two legs complete with webbed feet.
The worker said “she dared not cook the fish after consulting her husband,” who told her that according to Chinese belief “eating fish with unusual features could bring disaster or ill luck.” Words to live by.
You have to admire Chinese philosophy, it’s so dead-on insightful -as if the two legs sticking out of the shark wouldn’t make anyone think twice.
Source: The Star Online
Six High School wrestlers from Parker, South Dakota claim that a fellow classmate raped their butts with his finger during wrestling practice. 17 year old Jerome Hunt, was originally facing 21 counts of rape and attempted rape, but prosecutors have since dropped 11 of those charges. Each count could get him 25 years in prison if convicted.
One wrestler testified that Hunt “unsuccessfully tried to stick his finger in his butt”, other accusers say Hunts finger went into their rectums through their clothes. The wrestlers, who have since left the school, claim they didn’t tell anyone right away because they were scared of Hunt, who allegedly threatened to do worse to them. One alleged victim admits he thought Hunt was just playing around until his parents convinced him it was rape.
In a video shown in court, Hunt claimed the other wrestlers are “just trying to get him in trouble.” He admitted to messing around before practice, but says everybody does. “It’s all stuff that was done to me, it is a high school tradition,” he said.
Hunt went on to say the accusers are referring to a legal wrestling move he used on them called skinning, the maneuver involves applying pressure between a wrestler’s inner thighs to tail bone area. Senior wrestlers testified that they didn’t think Jerome Hunt was guilty and that he was using a legal wrestling move. They said “a finger could accidentally be inserted in an opponent’s rectum.”
Hunt says he never meant to offend anyone and asked “how he could penetrate a wrestler through his clothes.”
Sounds like a typical Abercromie photo shoot to me.
Celebrity kids everywhere! Above we have media darling Shiloh Jolie-Pitt ( this time with brother Maddox and gradma Pitt ) in New Orleans, while below we have Daddy of the Decade Ryan Phillippe with his children, son Deacon and daughter Ava.
Two teenage girls ( possibly as young as 16 ) held up a bank in Acworth, Georgia Tuesday. The girls walked up to teller at a Bank of American branch located inside a grocery store wearing sunglasses, demanded the money and walked off smiling. The police say the girls did not appear to be armed and were most likely doing it to be cool.
Do bank tellers in Georgia always give away money to unarmed robbers just for the asking? I’d walk off smiling too if it was that easy to get cash out them. This sounds very similar to the plot of a movie called Sugar & Spice, taking into account the story appeared on Fox News I wouldn’t be surprised if a trashy TV show based on the events is already in the works.
Police last night arrested Ashley Nicole Miller and Heather Lyn Johnston ( both 19 ) as well as the bank teller Michael Chastang, 27 and Benny Herman Allen, a 22-year old bank employee in connection with the Bank of America robbery. The incident, which at first appeared to be a bank robbery, was allegedly an inside job.
The collapse of ice sheets in the Antartic due to Global Warming gives scientists a look at new species of marine life and a world unseen in thousands of years. Jurassic Park won’t be far behind. Source: Guardian Unlimited
Why do fat chicks always do it to themselves? A bunch of fug fatties whined and complained when the debs of the Delta Zeta sorority in Greencastle, Indiana judged them to be “insufficiently committed” and asked that they vacate their fat asses from the premises. And this is wrong because???? Source: New York Times
A New Zealand fishermen caught what’s thought to be the largest squid ever found anywhere in the world, weighing 990 pounds and about 39 feet long, making it the biggest helping of calamari ever served up.
Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said the squid was caught when it was munching on Patagonian toothfish the fishermen had hooked on a longline. The fishermen then clobbered the greedy bastard to death and hauled it on board.
Dr Steve O’Shea, a world renowned squid expert with the Auckland University of Technology, said the specimen eclipsed the previous largest find - Tyra Banks. He went on to say if calamari were made from the catch the rings would be the size of tractor tires and Tyra would have no problem devouring it all in 10 seconds flat - with hot sauce.
The squid will ultimately end up at the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa in Wellington, where it will be preserved for scientific study because that would justify killing the poor dope.
Colossal squid were first described in 1925 after two tentacles were found in the stomach of a sperm whale who had one crazy night. The creatures live in an area from Antarctica to the southern extremities of South America, South Africa and New Zealand and can frequently be seen at Target sales and Tuesday night bingo games worldwide.
TMZ is reporting officials from the Miss U.S.A. pageant will make an announcement today and may strip the current Miss U.S.A. 20 year old Miss Kentucky Tara Conner, of her title due to “inappropriate” behavior.
Sources say executives from the pageant met Tuesday to discuss Conner’s alleged antics which includes her questionable conduct at various New York City bars. If Connor is dethroned, first runner-up Miss California Tamiko Nash will most likely assume the title.
In my opinion, this is the best thing that could happen to Conner’s career, no one knew or remembered who she was before today, but now no one will forget. If she plays her cards right she could use this to her advatage and come out on top, scandal has been known to pave the way for many a lucrative career.
Update 12/17/06:
Reports are that officials are upset with Tara?¬¢‚Äö?ᬮ‚Äö?묢s behavior including hard partying, coke use and making out with Miss Teen USA at NYC night clubs. She?¬¢‚Äö?ᬮ‚Äö?묢s also being accused of being a “pass-around-patty” bringing home men to their apartment.
Update 12/19/06:
The Donald did not fire Tara. In an early morning news conference, Trump said Conner is “a good person and deserves a second chance.” Conner, who will be admitted to rehab, faced the media and tearfully apologized for her behavior.
Entertainment Weekly has refused to run ads for coat manufacturer Cloudveil Mountain Works. The ads, meant to run during The Sundance Film Festival, made fun of breast implants and scientology. Not surprising, EW is clearly not interested in biting the silicone-enhanced-alien hand that feeds it.
