Afternoon TV is pretty awful this season, it’s become saturated with an over abundance of boring, cloned, courtroom shows taylor made for overweight, Dorito-slinging Red State soccer moms. Luckily along comes Tyra Banks’ new talk show, the self-titled “Tyra”, an edgier, more urban take on daytime’s reigning talk show giant, “Oprah.”

In the news today came word that Tyra and long-time foe Naomi “Killer” Campbell have made up and Campbell will be appearing on Tyra’s show for an in depth heart-to-heart, during which they will disguss why Naomi has such hatred for the ex-Victoria’s Secret supermodel. Call me cautious, but anyone worth their can of Mace knows Naomi’s about as warm, open and understanding as a great white shark during tourist season and something about this doesn’t sit right. Naomi will probably throw acid in Tyra’s face and quickly vanish into a cloud of black smoke as flying monkeys dressed in John Galliano couture swoop down on the unsuspecting audience - actually that sounds pretty hot, I’m setting my DVR for this one. Just a thought, but my ultimate Celebrity Death Match would be Naomi Campbell versus Kimora Lee Simmons - it’s hard to tell who or if anything would make it out alive after that one.

Source: Wenn News

Asians and black people should never go blonde, it rarely ever looks right. So what made Kimora Lee Simmons, who is both asian and black, think she could pull it off? A hairdresser from the Helen Keller School of Beauty who was tripping on magic mushrooms perhaps.

Hidi Lee Simmons showed off her new golden locks this past weekend on Access Hollywood where she was a guest reporter on the show. After splashing cold water on my scorched retinas and downing half a bottle of whisky, I gathered the strength to search the net for evidence of this heinous apparition and thankfully came up with pic courtesy of Dlisted.

And as if this horrific sight wasn’t enough, here are some highlights of Kimora’s antics on the set of her now canceled TV show “Life & Style,” direct from the mouths of her costars:

Kimora Lee Simmons Killed Own Show

- Kimora missed 35 episodes and gave wild excuses - like being in extended mourning for her dead cat.

- Kimora called the other hosts - Jules Asner, Cynthia Garrett and Lynne Koplitz - “bitches and hos” and once berated a Teleprompter operator so badly that he quit on the spot.

- She stole props such as lamps and once made off with an entire rack of lamb from the lunch buffet table. Staff routinely had to be dispatched to the sticky-fingered star’s dressing room in order to recover the pilfered booty.

- The statuesque former model also threatened to beat up an eight-month pregnant assistant, prompting weary producers to send the woman home to avert trouble.

- But perhaps the lowest point came when she supposedly had donuts delivered to the set, then licked each and every one so nobody else could eat them.

My ultimate Celebrity Death Match: Kimora Lee Simmons vs Nomi Campbell. Just imagine all the horse hair and cheap wigs that’ll have to be cleaned up after that fight.

Is Angelina Jolie a witch? You betcha! Or at least according to Doctor Snake, the author of cult best-seller “Voodoo Spellbook” she is.

In a story posted on Softpedia.com, which originally appeared in the New York Daily Times, “Angelina Jolie gave her buddy a vial of gray powder to ward off accidents. A close friend of the actor discovered the thing in the glove department of Brad’s car. Pitt told his friend that the vial contained the remnants of a bat”.

Doctor Snake states “That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo ‘mojo hand’, or magical charm”. Snake is skeptical that the charm is for warding off accidents, as voodoo spells using ingredients from bats are normally used in workings of black magic. “One dark voodoo spell uses Bat’s Heart Incense, which is burnt to break up a love affair or marriage”. Doctor Snake has also predicted the couple will be having twins.

Guess Jennifer Aniston never stood a chance against the powers of the all-mighty evil sorceress Angelina…now if she could only work that magic at the box office and break her string of flops.

Is it a case of deja vu or could Steven Spielberg be taking every precaution to make sure his upcoming film “Munich” receives an Academy Award nomination come December? Judging from the film’s poster I would say yes; notice the not-so-subtle similarities to Speilberg’s own “Color Purple”, right down to the hue of the drapes. Spielberg’s hasn’t been in the running since 1998’s “Saving Private Ryan”, so maybe he’s hoping a little throw back to Miss Celie will bring him luck.

Click on the thumbnails to view the full-sized images.

Korean toy manufacturer Kojun has created a series of limited edition dolls baring the likenesses of Brad Pitt and David Beckham just in time for the holidays. What sexually ambiguous tyke wouldn’t want to wake up to Brad or David ( or both for the more adventurous ) come Christmas morning. The days of having to settle for that working-class, military thug G.I. Joe are long gone.

Click on the thumbnails to view the full-sized images.

Photo source: Dlisted

Love is in the air! Well not exactly, judging from these photos it seems more like misery loves company. Above we have “it” couple Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson doing their best to make it seem like all those break up reports are not true ( judging from this photo I would say Nick has more of a romantic attachment to his Powerbook than he does to Jessica ). These two seem destined for divorce court, so try to act surprised when the big announcement hits.

Elsewhere in Martial Bliss Land we have Reese Witherspoon and Reese’s pieces Ryan Phillippe, seen here out for a leisurely drive. Reese is clearly somewhere else all together, as if just going through the motions and agreeing with whatever Ryan is yapping about. Ever since the two married Ryan seems to have slipped into obscurity while Reese’s career skyrocketed. This could be due in part to him taking time out to raise their two children, a rarity for a male celebrity in Hollywood. Maybe Ryan doesn’t want his children growing up thinking their father was a Filipino woman named Maria. He gets my vote for Celebrity Dad Of The Year.

Photo source: JustJared

No, it’s not a digitally rendered effects shot from some lame, big-budget, Tom Cruise blockbuster…this is the real deal. Say what you will, but there’s nothing like autumn in New York. Sure beats hanging out at the Thousand Oaks Mall.

Photo: TheSuperficial.com

A friend of Nicole “Karen Carpenter” Richie ( above: slipping you the nipple because there is no size -000 ), sent this report in to Dlisted claiming Paris Hilton has apparently been crank calling The Incredible Shrinking Woman’s boney ass late at night:

“Nicole has been getting phony phone calls very late at night, practically every night, and she suspects the culprit is her ex-best friend. Nicole doesn’t have proof, but she’s almost sure it’s Paris.”

Hmmmm let’s see, 24 years old, a millionaire, lots of free time on her hands…yup, my bet’s on Paris.

Photo: Pete Mowry / Hillsdale Daily News / AP

Does this mean Jessica Alba will get a street named after her?

Reported in People.com

High School Teen Elected Mayor in Michigan

American politics can still favor the underdog, as resoundingly proved by Hillsdale, Mich., high-school senior Michael Sessions. The 18-year-old, after having lost last year’s race to be elected to his school council, won another post this week: that of mayor of his hometown (population: 8,026, according to 2004 figures). Unofficial results show that Sessions got 732 votes, compared with 668 for Mayor Doug Ingles, 51. Once his victory is certified, he’ll be sworn in during a ceremony set for Nov. 21.

Read more »

Come on Anna it can’t be all that bad, Meryl Streep is playing you for god’s sake!

Reported in Fresh Intelligence: Radar Online
Tuesday November 09, 2005

The Devil You Know, On Line One

Although head Vogue-ette Anna Wintour has previously made light of her ex-assistant Lauren Weisberger??ᬨ¬•?¬¢?¬¨¬???⬨¬?s best-selling roman a clef, we hear the Devil may care after all. Sources say Wintour has been doing everything in her power to ensure the film version of The Devil Wears Prada fizzles??ᬨ¬•?¬¢?¬¨¬???⬨?Üeven threatening to blacklist some of the fashion world??ᬨ¬•?¬¢?¬¨¬???⬨¬?s biggest names if they agree to do cameos.

When Wintour got wind that producers had been recruiting major designers for walk-on roles, sources close to the film say she unleashed a flurry of phone calls intimating to the aspiring thespians that they??ᬨ¬•?¬¢?¬¨¬???⬨¬?d be persona non grata in the pages of her high-end glossy if they participated.

Read more »

Photo:idontlikeinyouthatway.com

Today’s “Down Home With The Federlines” item was sent in by a reader to socialitelife.com:

“I was at Baby Gap yesterday Nov. 6th at the Thousand Oaks Mall (The Oaks). I was about one foot away from Britney, she bought couple of things for her little boy. I asked her if she was Britney and she ignored me but the little teenager with her (sister/cousin) definitely gave me the dirty look.

The wonderful bodyguards of course waited outside and on occasion went inside to make sure “her royal highness” was being left alone.

“She looked thrashed as always…she did look good after having one baby…her nose was all red and her face looked swollen/ don’t know if it was the pimples or what. Definitely not a glamorous look!”

And what would a story on the little Misses ( B.S. for short ) be without Bubba Federline. Do my eyes deceive me or have the roles reversed and yet another rug rat is being added to the litter? Judging from that gut it looks like K-Fed is either three months along or he’s been having too much of the good thing in between avoiding his fatherly duties and squandering Britney’s money. My guess: don’t go out and buy him any baby shower gifts just yet. Look for K-Fed’s upcoming hip-hop cd in 99 cent bins everywhere soon.

Dolly Parton and Amanda Lepore.